


The Basic Laws of Robotics

by Anonymous_Ostrich



Category: Free!
Genre: Android AU, Bittersweet Ending, Blow Jobs, Dry Humping, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Simulated Orgasm, dating androids is risky business, orgasms with SCIENCE
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-23
Updated: 2015-09-23
Packaged: 2018-04-23 02:10:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4859132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonymous_Ostrich/pseuds/Anonymous_Ostrich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rei is an accomplished robotics engineer who successfully creates the world’s first synthetic artificial intelligence. Life might have been far less complicated if only he hadn’t fallen in love with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Basic Laws of Robotics

His ID badge never seemed to work on the first go. Sometimes Rei wondered what the bloody thing was for.

Today, his badge didn't seem particularly keen on letting him into his own damn lab, even after five or six swipes that increased in ferocity the more he was forced to attempt. With a hefty sigh, Rei adjusted his tie and turned on his heel, heading briskly for the assistance desk. The techs knew the routine so well they often had the doors open for him before he'd even managed to get all the way there.

Rei walked into his lab ten minutes late, already grinding his teeth. He was greeted by his intern, a bright, earnest young man named Nitori Aiichirou who had just started two months ago; Rei preferred to work in solitude, but he couldn't deny he appreciated - and sometimes sorely needed - the assistance.

"Ryugazaki-senpai, good morning!" Ai chimed, standing up from his desk. Rei often reminded Ai that it wasn't necessary to greet him so formally each and every day, but Ai wasn't very good at anything that entailed being casual with his superiors. Rei didn't have the heart nor the energy to correct the boy, so he merely nodded and lay his briefcase on the adjacent desk, grabbing his lab coat from the wall.

"Good morning, Nitori-kun," Rei sighed, glancing at his watch. "Sorry I'm late."

"Did the doors malfunction again?" Ai asked worriedly.

"The most advanced robotics engineering institute in the country and they can't be troubled to upgrade the employee badges," Rei muttered, irked. "I've written more emails than I can count, and I still haven't been issued a new one."

"Maybe I should wait by the doors every morning, so we can go in together?" Ai offered helpfully. Rei smiled.

"Thank you, but please don't worry too much about it. I'm making it out to be a much bigger problem than it likely is."

"Understood," Ai chimed, picking up his tablet and weaving around his desk. He swiped a finger across the screen of his tablet. "Ryugazaki-senpai, the parts you ordered for N.G.S.A. arrived this morning, I thought you'd like to check them over before sending out a confirmation email."

Rei perked up. "Finally! Where are they?"

Ai jabbed his thumb at another set of double doors. "I put them with N.G.S.A. I figured you'd want to install them right away."

Throwing on his lab coat, Rei adjusted his glasses and approached the second set of doors, his fingers grazing his ID badge before deciding against it. "Ahh… Nitori-kun, do you mind…?"

"Oh! Of course!" Ai flashed his own badge in front of the sensor, and without any accusatory bleeping or visits to the help desk, the doors opened easily. Both Rei and Ai slipped inside.

Rei flipped on the lights. The lab was white and tidy, pieces of machinery scattered on the work benches and desks but in an orderly fashion. A cleaning station was far to the left, most of the computers and tech to the right; in the middle was a large table that resembled a medical gurney. Sitting on the table was a metallic silver and black human-sized figure, head lolled to the side, narrow arms lying limply at its sides. All of its limbs were much thinner than that of an average humans; the metal frame served as a skeleton rather than the entire body. It might have looked almost ghoulish at first glance - mouth hanging half-open, eye sockets wide and empty - but Rei thought it was beautiful. It was unfinished, yes, but beautiful on the most basic level of robotics. He had created it, after all, so how could it _not_ be?

Stopping in front of the figure, Rei picked up a USB cable and carefully lifted the figure's head upright, plugging the cable into the back of its head. Nothing changed aside from the smallest of twitches in its metal fingers. Rei smiled warmly.

"Good morning, Nagisa-kun."

Ai peered at Rei over his tablet with surprise and a dash of curiosity. "Nagisa...kun…?"

"I've decided to give him a name, so it will be easier to address him once he starts understanding words," Rei answered, fiddling with the figure's left arm. "It's easier to pronounce than N.G.S.A. and less of a mouthful than _neuro-genetic synthetic android_ , wouldn't you say?"

"Ah, I see!" Ai said, his face glowing in understanding. "Nagisa sounds a lot like N.G.S.A., if you don't abbreviate the word." The boy's smile faded, his face screwing up in concentration. "Though, it's going to be a _male_ android, correct? Wouldn't a manlier name be better?"

"I don't think either of us are in a proper position to argue that point," Rei said uneasily.

Ai hugged his tablet to his chest, laughing awkwardly. "I suppose you're right about that."

The small box of parts was sitting next to Nagisa on the table, the top already neatly cut and waiting to be opened. Rei picked it up and reached inside, pulling out a small grey box with a tiny fan attached, along with a cluster of colored wires with small transmitters at the ends that emerged from the box in a cascade of packing peanuts.

"Are they the right ones?"

"Yes, I think so." Rei grabbed a nearby screwdriver and walked around the table to the back of Nagisa's open head. Carefully, he fit the small box in a perfectly sized gap to the left of where a human's brain would be and began to gingerly attach the wires to specific places. Ai peered around the table, observing.

"What are they for, anyway?"

Rei moved his screwdriver to his teeth, both of his hands busy working in Nagisa's head. "They'll help serve as temporary neurotransmitters," Rei answered, his speech somewhat slurred. "It's going to help him think, so to speak."

All of Nagisa's actions up until this point had been purely based on computer input and direct interference. They hadn't yet advanced to the point where it could do anything on its own. N.G.S.A. had only been in development for six months, and all things considered, Rei thought things were coming along nicely. He'd been given a generous grant but lacked a large team, so progress was understandably steady.

"What would you like me to do today, Ryugazaki-senpai?"

Rei took the screwdriver from his teeth and placed it on the table. "I'd like you to focus on coding, if you could. I want to administer some reaction tests with him today."

"Roger!"

As Ai hurried to the nearest computer console, Rei double and triple-checked his handiwork, smoothing a hand over the top of Nagisa's metallic head. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't the happiest when he was building and inventing; it was his 'calling', if there was such a thing. Building N.G.S.A. had been different. He was on a mission to create the world's first artificial intelligence. It was a tall order, but one that got his creative juices flowing and his mind churning. He enjoyed working in his lab each and every day, but since beginning work on Nagisa, he felt he had renewed purpose in the world. He couldn't explain it. It wasn't just happiness. It was fulfillment like he'd never known. It was a strange excitement, as though he were preparing to meet someone special. He supposed he was, in a way.

He got many questions from his colleagues, some of them wanting to know how he felt about the idea of creating life - admittedly a taboo subject to most - and Rei was sure he didn't know. He thought he might feel fatherly toward his creation, but that wasn't exactly accurate. There was affection there, certainly, but he couldn't claim it was maternal.

He assumed he wouldn't know until Nagisa could truly think and talk for himself.

Rei offered Nagisa a smile even though he knew the figure couldn't yet see it. "Let's do our best again today, Nagisa-kun."

 

* * *

  

[Communication request…..processing request…..voice error. Attempting to fix…. error. Unknown or disconnected voice drives. Loading memory…. insufficient data. Personal ID: N.G.S.A. Opening ocular channel…..]

The world was blurry and unfocused. He had never seen anything before, so he didn't realize the world could look any other way. He couldn't move his head or his eyes. He was stuck in position, his limbs refusing to respond to the urgent requests of his thought processors. There was a miscommunication somewhere. Either that, or all usable power was being redirected to his sight. He didn't particularly mind if it was the latter. Being able to see was nice. Scary, but nice.

"Can you hear me?"

The first voice he'd ever heard. [Audio saved.] It was a pleasant voice. He liked it very much, even if he had nothing to compare it to.

A foggy object came into view, taking up his narrow field of vision. Immediately his receptors identified the object as a human face, a pleasantly symmetrical human male face with violet eyes, red-framed glasses and dark blue hair. [Image saved. Subject: Unknown.]

"My name is Ryugazaki Rei. I work for the Iwatobi Robotics Institute, and I… Uhh. Well, I created you."

[Subject: Ryugazaki Rei, creator.]

Rei smiled at him, reaching out to gently tilt his creation's head up only slightly. "Can you hear me, Nagisa-kun?"

[Personal ID: DELETED. Input new ID: Nagisakun. Error: Definition of suffix -kun uploaded. Input new new ID: Nagisa.]

"Ryugazaki-senpai, there's a voice error. I don't think he can answer you." Another voice. Nagisa couldn't see the owner of the voice, still unable to move his head or eyes, stuck firmly in place. Frozen.

"Ah, I thought that might happen. Nagisa-kun, if you can understand me, could you blink your eyes or move your pointer finger?"

[Processing request…..error.]

_Sorry, I can't. Something's wrong with me._

"Hmmm…" Rei tapped his chin. "There must be conflicting data somewhere." He raised a device of some kind, glancing at it with a furrowed brow. Nagisa thought Rei looked beautiful when he was concentrating. "There's a massive spike in his delta waves… I think he can hear us." He looked back into Nagisa's eyes. "We'll try again later. For now, we'll let you rest, Nagisa-kun."

For the first time, Nagisa wished for something. He wished that he didn't have to stop looking at Rei's face or stop hearing his voice.

 

* * *

 

"Okay, and this one?"

"Ahh, uhm…. Chicken!"

"Close. This is a duck, actually." Rei pulled another card and turned it toward Nagisa. "This one?"

Nagisa didn't yet have a tongue or he would have used it to slick his upper lip. "Hmmm. Ahh, zebra!"

"Correct!" He flipped over another card. "You know this one, Nagisa-kun."

"Penguin!" Nagisa chimed, his expression lighting up despite only half of his face being outfitted with synthetic, pale human skin and features. His voice was nearly perfect in its pitch and range, if not for the slightly hollow, metallic ring that still accompanied it. That would be fixed in time.

"What is it you like about penguins, Nagisa-kun?" Rei asked curiously, setting down the cards.

"I'm not sure," the android replied, swinging his feet. "They're really cute! They're birds, but they can't fly."

"That's true," Rei mused, standing up from his desk and approaching the table. He began fussing with some of the cords that were trailing out of the back of Nagisa's head. "You're incredible, Nagisa-kun. You decided all on your own that penguins are 'cute'... You picked a favorite without being programmed to. It's amazing."

Nagisa tilted his head to view Rei curiously. "Isn't that normal?" he asked. Rei smiled at his android apologetically.

"Well… Yes, it's normal for humans, of course. But as far as artificially created life, it's an amazing feat."

"Do you have a favorite animal, Rei-chan?"

Another quirk of Nagisa's since he'd begun to speak was affectionately adding -chan to almost everyone's names - 'everyone' being Rei and Ai almost exclusively - and though Rei thought to initially correct him, in the end he didn't have the heart. "Ah, I've never really thought about it. I suppose… Butterflies are quite beautiful."

"Butterflies… Butterfly! Those insects with the big, pretty wings, right?"

"Correct again," Rei chuckled.

"Are you going to show me any more cards, Rei-chan?"

"Not right now," Rei said, grabbing up a thin silver flashlight and moving in front of Nagisa. "I want to check and make sure everything is running properly, is that alright?"

"Yep!" Nagisa chirped, resting his hands in his lap and shrugging up his shoulders. Rei clicked on the flashlight, inching in close to Nagisa's face. He shined the light in the android's right eye, observing the natural dilation.

"Do you feel alright, Nagisa-kun? Is there anything making you uncomfortable?"

"I don't _think_ so…" Nagisa hummed. "I wish I could move around more, though."

As it stood, Nagisa's legs didn't quite obey him yet. They could function independently if Rei was directing them at his computer, but they were having a tough time syncing with Nagisa's neural processors. It was a work in progress, of course. Rei was thrilled enough that after only a year of work, Nagisa could process and relay the human language with near perfection.

"Sorry," Rei said, flashing Nagisa's other eye to check for an accurate reaction. "Soon, I promise. We'll have you walking in no time."

"Don't worry, Rei-chan, I believe in you! I can wait."

Rei lowered his flashlight, reaching around to gently touch the back of Nagisa's head. It was sometimes difficult to navigate through all of Nagisa's brand-new fluffy blonde hair to get to the cords Rei could usually so easily reach. He unplugged one of them gently.

"Still feeling okay?" he prompted.

"Mmhmm!"

"Good. We'll do an endurance test, then. Let's see how long your power holds out without being plugged in."

Rei circled his desk, sitting down. Nagisa continued swinging his legs, staring at Rei curiously.

"Will I have to be plugged in forever, Rei-chan?"

"I hope not. Eventually you'll have rechargeable energy that should be able to sustain itself. That's a ways off, though."

Nagisa tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling. "Do humans have to recharge?" he asked.

Rei looked up from his papers, pressing the cap of his pen against his chin. "In a way, yes. We need to sleep every night, or else we stop functioning. Sleep is very important."

"So I'll sleep just like Rei-chan?" Nagisa asked hopefully.

Rei smiled. "Yes, it will be very similar."

"Ah, that sounds fun!" Nagisa mused.

A comfortable silence fell over the lab. Rei's pen scrawled over his papers as Nagisa hummed to himself absently, his legs continuing to swing over the table. Evenings with Nagisa had become so commonplace Rei almost felt like he'd known him his whole life. Even though he could now talk to Nagisa as normally and fluently as any other human, he still hadn't felt the pang of fatherly love that his coworkers had speculated he'd feel; he felt as though Nagisa were a close friend, someone he understood inside (literally) and out. He'd never expected Nagisa to evolve into such a charming personality in such a short time. Rei had set out to create a completely unique artificial intelligence with a complex neutro network. He'd succeeded, but he was still taken aback by how well it worked out.

"Hey, Rei-chan?"

Rei looked up from his work, a touch alarmed. "Is everything okay? Are you running low on power already?"

Nagisa waved a hand reassuringly. "Oh, no, I feel fine… I just… Uhh, kind of wanted to talk, if that's okay."

Setting down his pen, Rei pushed his chair away from the desk just enough to show Nagisa that he had his full attention. "Of course. Is there anything in particular you'd like to talk about?"

"Um… Well…" Nagisa put his hands together and fidgeted his fingers. "What's the rest of the world like, Rei-chan? Outside of the lab?"

Rei blinked several times, not quite sure how to respond. How could someone possibly sum up such a massive question in a simple answer?

"Well… Haahh…." Rei pulled his glasses off, pretending to polish them on his lab coat. "It's hard to really answer in a satisfactory way…" He replaced his glasses. "I've shown you the videos and books, right? We've talked about the world before… Have you forgotten?"

Nagisa shook his head, blonde hair falling over the skinless side of his face. "No, I remember. But those are just pictures, right? Seeing pictures is different from how I feel when I look around the lab. I _know_ the lab. I can hear it and see it so much differently than if I was looking at a picture. I want to see other places too, in that same way." He lowered his head, looking away. "Sorry, that's asking a bit too much, huh?" He laughed, short and sweet.

Rei wasn't sure what to say. Nagisa had shown signs of healthy curiosity for weeks now - it almost seemed to be in his nature - but he'd never given any indication that he was unhappy in his situation, or wistful for new experiences. Standing up from his desk, Rei walked over to the table, placing a hand on Nagisa's cold shoulder.

"I'm sorry you have to wait for so long, Nagisa-kun. I never considered how frustrating it must be for you to be confined to the lab like this."

Nagisa looked up, his eyes blown open in concern. "Ah, Rei-chan, I didn't mean it like that! I'm really happy! I get to talk with Rei-chan everyday, and Ai-chan, too! I have nothing to complain about… It's just…"

"I promise, some day soon you'll be able to walk on your own and we'll get you functioning to perfection. The whole _world_ will want to meet you once we've worked out all the bugs!" Rei said seriously. "When that happens, I'll take you wherever you want to go!"

The android's mouth dropped open. "Really, Rei-chan?"

"Of course!" Rei declared, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose importantly.

Nagisa's face brightened in excitement. " _Rei-chan_!" He lunged forward, throwing his arms around Rei's neck, hugging him. "Thank you!"

"N-Nagisa-kun, _careful_! You'll pull out your cords!"

 

* * *

 

A bright red ball whizzed through the air over Rei's head. From behind him, Ai jumped into the air and caught it one-handed, letting out a relieved sigh.

"Nagisa-kun! Not so far next time!" Ai called, tossing it back. Nagisa caught it easily with both hands, smiling.

"Soooory, Ai-chan!" He took a bit more time to deliberate his throw before tossing it again. This time, it was perfect.

"Motor skills seem better than usual today," Rei observed, jotting something down on his tablet. "How are you getting around, Nagisa-kun? Any problems with your legs?"

To demonstrate, Nagisa walked from the table to Rei's desk, throwing a little skip in at the end for good measure. "They feel fine! I think I'm really getting the hang of it."

Ai placed the ball on his desk, smiling. "You've improved so much in such a short time! Pretty soon, the institute will probably want to show you off."

"Show me off?" Nagisa laughed, scratching the back of his head. "That might be kind of embarrassing."

Rei leaned back in his chair, crossing his legs. "You won't have to worry about that for a while." he said reassuringly. "We still have many tests to run."

"But I'm _almost_ complete, right?" Nagisa asked hopefully.

It was true enough that Nagisa looked entirely human now, his skin completely finished, every pigment and freckle perfectly placed and attuned to Nagisa's synthetic nervous system. He even had the ability to blush if he began to overheat. His limbs were still sometimes clunky in their movements, but their maintenance and tests over the last few weeks had allowed him to move with much more fluidity.

"Almost," Rei answered with a smile.

"Ryugazaki-senpai, I'm going to make a coffee run - need anything?"

"Just the usual, thank you,"

The lab doors shut loudly behind Ai as he left. Rei stood up from his seat.

"While we have a minute, how about an exam?"

"Mmkay!" Nagisa half-skipped to the exam table, hopping up onto it obediently. Rei opened a long box that contained useful tools, selecting a few of them.

"How do you feel?" Rei asked. Same questions, as always. He sometimes wondered if Nagisa was getting sick of it, but he never seemed to be.

"Fine!" Nagisa chirped, watching Rei rummage through the tools. "I feel like I have a lot of energy!"

"That's good," Rei said, walking over to Nagisa and fishing around for a cord behind him, plugging it easily into the back of Nagisa's head. "You've been unplugged for hours, so that's definitely an improvement."

"Yep!"

Nagisa allowed Rei to shine light in his eyes, look in his mouth, and play around in his head. After only a couple of minutes, Rei was satisfied that everything was in working order. He glanced at his watch.

"Okay… I'll need you to stay plugged in for another couple of minutes. I'm almost done compiling data."

When Nagisa didn't respond right away, Rei glanced at the android curiously, noting his sudden change in expression. He'd been full of energy moments ago, but now he seemed drained, almost contemplative. His expressions were so much easier to decipher now that he had entirely human features.

"Nagisa-kun? Is something wrong?"

The android's features barely twitched. Rei was worried he might have been malfunctioning when suddenly Nagisa's eyes darted away, his lips pulling into an uncomfortable frown.

"Rei-chan… What do humans live for?"

Rei's lips parted but no sound emerged. It wasn't often that Nagisa asked him such outrageously philosophical questions. Rei felt distinctly as though all the knowledge he'd ever learned had been dashed from his head.

"What do we… _live_ for?" Rei repeated numbly. He cleared his throat, tearing his gaze away from Nagisa's troubled expression. "I'm... not so sure there is a clear answer to that question."

Nagisa's eyes flicked in Rei's direction. "Don't all humans have a purpose?"

"It's not quite so black-and-white as that," Rei said, flustered. "When we're born, I suppose we don't _have_ much of a purpose. 'Purpose' is a human construct built from a society that expects all of its members to contribute to said society."

Nagisa's expression perked up only slightly. "Don't you have a purpose, Rei-chan?"

"Well, yes," Rei answered with a soft smile. "I _found_ my purpose. I enjoy building things. My love of building things led me to creating you… Which is, without a doubt, my greatest achievement to date."

The android worried his bottom lip; Rei normally would have disapproved of such behavior, as Nagisa's skin did not yet have the capability to regenerate itself.

"Do… do _I_ have a purpose?" Nagisa asked, his voice quieter and more frightened than Rei had ever heard it.

"Erm… Well…"

"Lately I've been wondering why I was born. Why I was…. _made_. Was it just so humans could research me?" Nagisa sputtered suddenly, looking up at Rei with glistening magenta eyes. "I'm not complaining or anything, I _promise_ I'm not… I just…" His long lashes drew downward, hiding his eyes. "I just want to know why I'm here."

Rei was silent for a long moment. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he had the wild urge to comfort Nagisa by touching his face, swiping some hair behind his ear or possibly hugging him; for reasons he could identify, he didn't do any of those things.

"Having feelings like that… well, I think it means you're just as human as anyone else," Rei said, earning a surprised look from the android. "Everyone thinks about this sometimes. It's part of being human. I believe you're _more_ than human enough to find your own path, Nagisa-kun."

Nagisa's eyes widened, as did his mouth. "You mean _I_ can decide what I want to do?" he asked, his face alight with hope. Rei thought he looked gorgeous, like all the innocence of the world wrapped in beautiful, golden sunlight. "I can decide what I want to live for, just like Rei-chan?"

"Of course," Rei answered, relieved he'd eased his friend's mind.

Nagisa held his chin between his fingers, thinking hard. The nearby CPU he was connected to buzzed with activity.

"I know!" he said delightedly. "I've decided I want to live for Rei-chan!"

The words stuck like glue in Rei's brain, causing him to momentarily lose the ability to talk. He wasn't sure why he felt so much heat in his face, or why his heart had suddenly jumped into his throat and had begun to pound savagely against his adam's apple. Staring into Nagisa's twinkling synthetic eyes only intensified the effect. Rei wondered if he needed to schedule a doctor's appointment. He'd been working too hard, certainly.

"Ah- Su-such a thing, that is to say, ahh," Rei absently adjusted his tie, swallowing his heart back into his chest where it belonged. "I'm sure you could find a much more rational purpose in life, yes? Like… ah, let's see…"

Nagisa's mouth pulled into a pout. "But I've already made my decision! I think living for someone else is normal, isn't it?" His pout melted and was replaced by a dazzling smile. "Rei-chan loves building things, and I love making Rei-chan smile and spending time with him! I think that if Rei-chan is with me, I'll be fine!"

The heat in Rei's face had completely encompassed his entire head, lighting his brain on fire. All he could do was stare at Nagisa's gleeful, wheedling smile, his tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth.

The obnoxious bleep of an ID badge successfully being granted access to the lab pulled Rei out of his stupor. He whirled on his heel, nearly falling over.

"I brought coffee and muffins!" Ai chimed, raising the tray of foodstuffs for proof.

Rei wasn't sure he could stomach either one.

 

* * *

 

Unethical. There was no better word for what this was.

Rei didn't take days off, but here he was, walking around the greater downtown area with no clue as to what he was trying to do. He was mostly listening to his superiors when they insisted he take days off for 'legal' reasons - whoever decided _too much work_ was a problem, anyway? - but there was a personal reason for it, as well. He needed some time away from the lab. No, that wasn't exactly right. He needed time away from Nagisa.

His feelings were unacceptable. Nagisa trusted him. He was his _creator_. It was his responsibility to make Nagisa feel safe and happy. How could Nagisa possibly depend on him when such wicked, unnatural feelings were growing within him?

It wasn't as though he thought Nagisa was unworthy of his affections, or that he didn't see Nagisa as an equal. It wasn't that at all. Quite the opposite, in fact. Somewhere in the last two years, Rei had stopped seeing Nagisa as merely something he'd built, something artificial. When Nagisa greeted him with that joyous smile each and every day, Rei saw something alive. The cold metal machinery in Nagisa's body didn't matter. He had feelings. He could worry, laugh, make mistakes. That had been the goal, hadn't it? To create a true artificial intelligence, something that could think and act like a human.

Except he wasn't acting. Nagisa was his own person. Rei's job was to continue nurturing his growth and improve his functionality, but it was becoming sullied by his inappropriate feelings. He liked Nagisa. No, it might be more than that. Much more.

He could never tell him. It would be unfair to Nagisa to know such a thing. Rei shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his jacket, his collar doing well to hide his pink face. He just needed a little time. He was sure these feelings would fade. He just needed to pour all of his energy and attention into his work.

Crap. Nagisa _was_ his work.

Somehow, he felt like this was going to be an uphill battle.

 

* * *

 

"I'll be heading home, Ryugazaki-senpai." Ai stood by the door, wrapping a scarf around his neck, hands already covered with beige mittens. "Good work today!"

Glancing at the time, Rei blew a sigh through his lips. "I had no idea it was this late! Please be safe getting home, Nitori-kun."

"Are you going to head home soon?" Ai asked worriedly. "You really shouldn't stay too much later. Nagisa-kun has already powered down for the night, too."

Nagisa was sitting on the edge of the exam table, hands in his lap, a peaceful expression on his sleeping face. Rei rubbed his eyes. "I'll leave soon, when I wake up a bit more. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Don't push yourself!" Ai reminded seriously, before letting himself out.

Half of the lab's lights were off, in consideration for Nagisa (although his sleeping mode did not account for disturbances like light or sound) making 'waking up' a little more difficult. Rei yawned, stretching at his desk. Maybe if he just laid his head down. If he could rest for a moment, he was sure he could head home.

Rei crossed his arms over his desk and laid his head down. In seconds, he was out.

.

.

.

He woke to a small pool of drool on his arm and a strange warmth across his shoulders. Rei opened his eyes, the lab blearily coming into focus. How long had he been asleep? Wiping his mouth, Rei glanced at Nagisa's table. A pang of fear and confusion shot through his chest; Nagisa was gone. The table was empty, his power cord laying abandoned.

Rei sat up, fully awake; something slid off of his shoulders. He turned in alarm, noticing a blanket pooled on the floor behind him. Ai had left, so who…? Rei looked around, immediately noticing a head of fluffy blonde hair to the left of him, laying on his desk, asleep. Rei blinked several times before he had fully grasped the situation. Nagisa had woken up on his own somehow, covered him up with a blanket, and then fallen asleep at the end of his desk? Rei felt the familiar, unwelcome heat climb into his neck and face, and he aggressively willed it away.

The more he stared at Nagisa's sleeping form, the more worried he became. How long had Nagisa been unplugged? He'd never known Nagisa to wake himself up during a sleep session before; what if he was malfunctioning?

Rei carefully moved closer to Nagisa, observing his face. His golden hair was framing his face in the most endearing way, his pink lips parted to allow slow, shallow breaths that Rei knew were entirely cosmetic, serving no actual purpose. His cheeks were tinted rose - something might be overheating, Rei realized uneasily - and his shoulders were gently swelling with those false breaths, making him look unbelievably sweet.

Looking at him sleep, Rei's heart tightened into a painful knot. He thought to wake him up and move him back to his table so that he could plug him back in, but he couldn't fathom doing it. Several times he tried, each time pulling his hand away and sinking further into complete despair. His emotions were running amok. His brain felt like it was still sleeping. Waking up next to Nagisa - in any form - was sending him into overdrive. Had Nagisa's lips always been so full, so delicate? Rei had designed him to be beautiful, naturally, but Nagisa was so much more beautiful than his designs. He was more beautiful than anything Rei had ever seen.

When Rei came to his senses, he realized with glaring clarity that his face was merely inches away from Nagisa's, so close that his fringe was brushing against those strands of golden hair. In a moment of extreme, shameless weakness he had rolled his chair to the end of the desk and attempted to… He wasn't even sure. The important thing here was that he'd come to his senses. He'd stopped before he could do the horrible, unacceptable thing his unconscious mind had nearly tricked him into doing.

Rei pulled away, his face painted scarlet, his heart rattling painfully against his ribs. He needed to wake Nagisa up. Once he got him plugged in, he would go home and take a cold shower. Possibly two. Tomorrow morning, he would pretend this never happened. He would have better control over his emotions. He would-

A hand grabbed his, preventing him from getting up from his chair. Rei stifled a surprised yelp, turning toward Nagisa. His breath caught in his throat. Nagisa was staring at him intently, his eyes focused and clear, his cheeks a deeper shade of endearing rose. Rei could only stare back, mute with fear, feeling as though he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't have. He supposed he had.

"Rei-chan…" Nagisa's voice was low, yearning, almost desperate. Rei had never heard his name spoken in such a sultry tone. Nagisa sat up and leaned over the desk, his face inching dangerously close to Rei's. "Don't leave. Please."

Rei couldn't move. He felt like he'd been paralyzed. Nagisa's long lashes dipped down in embarrassment before tilting his head up again, looking purposefully into Rei's eyes. "You don't have to stop, or go away. I want… this. I like Rei-chan. I…" Nagisa pressed his lips together, his eyes half-lidded, his nose brushing Rei's. "I… _love_ Rei-chan. I love Rei-chan so much…"

Mouths met in a sweet, awkward variation of a kiss; Rei wasn't sure who kissed whom, but he didn't think it mattered. Nagisa's mouth was warm and irresistible, too real to be synthetic though Rei had nothing to compare it to. Rei's hand moved of its own accord, his fingers sinking into Nagisa's soft hair to hold him close. Part of him wondered if he was still dreaming. Nagisa was kissing him, his beautiful innocent Nagisa… All of his previous doubts and anxieties melted away, replaced with the feeling of Nagisa's mouth and tongue, the silky strands of his hair between Rei's fingers, the smooth skin covering his cheek that seemed to be heating up as the seconds rolled on. They parted, noses still touching, Rei's glasses somewhat askew and his breath coming out in shallow pants.

Nagisa sucked his lips into his mouth sheepishly. "Was… was that good?" he asked softly.

'Good' was a vast understatement. Rei was sure there was no word in the Japanese language to describe how it made him feel.

"Y-yes," Rei answered, his voice breaking. "Very… ahh, satisfactory…"

Nagisa's face broke into a relieved smile. "Can I… do it again?"

Rei couldn't remember if he agreed aloud or with an adamant, shameless head-nod; either way, Nagisa was kissing him again.

 

* * *

 

" _Nng…_ N-nagisa-kun, you don't have to… _ahh…_!"

If anyone found out Rei was essentially getting paid to receive the best blow job of his life, he would more than likely die of embarrassment long before he was fired. He hadn't counted on Nagisa dropping to his knees like he did, or unfastening his belt while looking up at Rei with such an endearing, dangerous smile. When Nagisa had taken him into his mouth, he could no longer remember his name. It had all been a blur of pleasure and the overwhelming, dirty feeling of doing something like this in his _lab_ , his own previously untainted workspace.

" _Heel gud_?" Nagisa asked, mouth too full of cock to be remotely coherent. He glanced up at Rei with large, ridiculously innocent eyes despite the fact Rei's dick was puffing out his left cheek, a thin stream of drool running down his chin. Rei grabbed fistfuls of Nagisa's hair, breathing deeply through his nose.

"It… ahh, feels great, but…"

Nagisa closed his eyes, swallowing Rei to the base without warning. Rei shuddered, stifling a groan.

"H-how… _ahh_ , did you…. get so _good_ at this?" It damn well wasn't part of his programming.

"Internet," came Nagisa's muffled reply. He worked his tongue skillfully over Rei's swollen flesh, dragging his mouth up and down the length with just the right amount of suction to keep Rei balanced on the precarious edge of release. His mouth was so wet, tight and perfectly heated; for a horrible moment Rei thought the future of androids like Nagisa might very well be used for kinds of work he hadn't originally counted on.

"What sort of… lewd things are you… _ahhh…_ looking up, Nagisa-kun?!"

Nagisa pulled his mouth off of Rei's throbbing length with a slick pop, using his saliva to give Rei a handjob. He flashed him a cheeky smile. "It was only for research, Rei-chan," he said, thumbing the tip of Rei's cock, smearing saliva and precum. "I want to make you feel good."

Rei opened his mouth to say something but wasn't given the chance. He was swallowed up again, Nagisa sucking him hard and fast, wasting no time in bringing him to orgasm. Rei let out a cry, his head falling back against the cabinets behind him.

"N-nagisa-kun…! Careful… I'm going… to…!"

Nagisa pulled back, looking up at Rei with a strangely hungry smile on his face; as an extra incentive, he opened his mouth, stretching his tongue out. Gripping his own leaking cock, it only took a few furious, slick strokes before Rei came with a groan, thick ropes of semen hitting the android's face and laying sticky stripes from the bridge of his nose to his chin. Nagisa hummed in satisfaction, rubbing the outside of Rei's thigh. Rei struggled to get his breath back, running fingers apologetically through Nagisa's hair.

"I'm _so_ sorry, Nagisa-kun…" he said, shakily adjusting his glasses. "I didn't mean to- I just-"

"Don't apologize, Rei-chan," Nagisa chirped, smiling so warmly that Rei nearly forgot how cum-stained the android's face was. Looking at such a sweet face covered in his semen made Rei's stomach swim with a horrid mixture of guilt and arousal. "I told you, I wanted to make you feel good."

"Let's clean you up, okay? I won't feel right until I do." Rei suggested, adjusting his slacks and helping Nagisa to his feet. Nagisa swiped a finger over his lips, rubbing some of the sticky mess between his fingers. He giggled.

"I can't believe Rei-chan makes this stuff… It's so wet and warm."

Rei groaned in humiliation. " _Please_ don't comment on its consistency or temperature…!" He put his hands on Nagisa's shoulders and steered him to the exam table, grabbing a box of tissues along the way. As soon as Nagisa hopped onto the table, Rei got to work gently cleaning away his mess, his face burning.

"I really _am_ sorry, Nagisa-kun. I knew you couldn't… ah, _swallow_ it, so I just…"

"It's _okay_ , Rei-chan," Nagisa assured with a laugh. He was quiet for a moment as Rei gently wiped his face, his lips pressed together in a small smile. "Thanks for taking such good care of me."

" _I_ should be the one saying that right now, shouldn't I?" Rei replied, laughing through his nose. He wiped Nagisa's chin clean, leaning in to plant a chaste kiss to Nagisa's mouth. Nagisa beamed at him.

Often when they engaged in such activities, Rei couldn't help but feel guilty about the fact that Nagisa lacked sexual organs. Sexual release was exclusive to Rei during their sessions. Although Nagisa insisted he didn't mind, Rei still felt it was unfair. He thought of maybe talking to his superiors about getting permission to modify Nagisa, but he couldn't fathom how to justify something so unethical. The N.G.S.A. project wasn't meant to perfectly simulate human life. It was an experiment to see if an honest-to-goodness artificial intelligence could be created, something that could truly think for itself. Sex wasn't exactly a requirement.

"Nagisa-kun, does it ever bother you?" Rei asked, ghosting his fingertips over Nagisa's cheek. "Are you really okay with this? Giving me pleasure, but not being able to receive it?"

Nagisa touched Rei's hand, pressing it to his face and shutting his eyes. "I can't say I'm not curious. It looks like it feels so _good_ for you. But if it can't be helped, I'm content with making Rei-chan happy."

Rei was thoughtfully silent for a moment, staring hard at the console next to the table. Sometimes he both adored and despised his scientific mind.

"Do you remember the pain tests we did, when I fed you pain sensations directly to your brain?" Rei asked. "Also, sorry for that again." he added guiltily.

"I told you I wanted to know what it felt like!" Nagisa combatted adamantly.

"I'm wondering… If you'd like to, ah…. _feel_ what it's like, I might be able to, uhh…"

Nagisa gasped so loudly one might have assumed he'd just come up for air. "Can you really _do_ that?!"

"I have no idea," Rei admitted, warmth blooming in his cheeks. "It might be worth a try, though?"

.

.

.

Truthfully, it might have been the longest session of foreplay in the history of mankind. For the better part of three hours Rei tapped away at his computer, using the sensation format he'd used for the pain tests as a base. Nagisa hung on his shoulder, watching him work excitedly.

"Will this really work, Rei-chan?"

"Worse case scenario, you won't feel a thing. But I believe I've done it correctly, even though I've never attempted this particular, err, _sensation_ before." Rei frowned, scratching the back of his head. "Now that I've said it outloud, I feel like I've done something very, _very_ bad."

"Let's try it out!" Nagisa chimed, pumping a fist into the air in excitement.

"Alright. We need to plug you in, and I'll run it."

Nagisa hurried to the table, jumping up on it and swiftly plugging himself in. As soon as Nagisa's brain connected to the system, Rei executed the program, praying to whomever might be listening that no one else in the company would thoroughly inspect every uploaded program for any reason.

Standing up, Rei approached the exam table. "Uhh…. Feel anything?" he asked curiously.

Nagisa curled his tongue into his upper lip. "Hmmm… I don't _think_ so. I don't really know what it's supposed to feel like, though."

"Well, I think you'd know." Rei rubbed his chin in thought. "When we ran the pain test, we had to touch a pencil to your finger to simulate a needle-point, so I suppose…" Rei gently touched Nagisa's knee, doubtful of such a simple solution; Nagisa let out a surprised cry, his leg jerking away from Rei's touch. Rei pulled away in terror, positive that he'd hurt him somehow. "Wh-what's wrong? Does it hurt?"

Nagisa's eyes were wide with alarm. His face pink, he stared at his knee, and then at Rei, slowly shaking his head. "N-no. It didn't hurt, it just… Surprised me."

"Did… Did it feel good?" Rei asked, his mouth going completely dry. Nagisa mutely nodded, his eyes shining with both wonder and fear.

"Sorry for scaring you. You can, uhm… touch me again, it's okay."

Swallowing a lump in his throat, Rei cautiously touched Nagisa's knee again. Nagisa sucked in a sharp breath. Watching his expression carefully, Rei slid his hand from Nagisa's knee to his mid-thigh, stopping when Nagisa let loose a soft whimper.

"What are you feeling?" Rei asked, low and heady. A shallow breath blew through Nagisa's moistened pink lips.

"I don't really know how to explain it," Nagisa admitted. The hand on his leg crawled further toward his inner thigh, earning a gasp and another whimper. "It feels like your hand is…. electric. It's making everything weird and tingly..."

"Weird good, or weird bad?"

Another whimper. " _Good_ ," Nagisa gasped.

Mustering his courage, Rei leaned in and pressed a kiss to the side of Nagisa's neck. Nagisa let loose a yearning groan, raising a mildly shaking hand to hold tight to Rei's lab coat, keeping him close. Rei peppered Nagisa's neck with gentle kisses, marveling at how quickly and easily Nagisa yielded to his touch; seeing Nagisa experiencing pleasure of any kind was so new and dazzling Rei could feel himself getting hard again. This moment wasn't about him, though. It was about Nagisa, letting him feel something completely new and giving him everything he selflessly gave Rei whenever he got the chance.

"Have you really become so sensitive?" Rei asked in a low rumble against Nagisa's pale throat, earning a wild tremble from the android in reply. To someone who had never felt an intimate touch before, Rei could only imagine what it felt like to experience it for the first time. He felt oddly honored to be the first - and only - to give Nagisa these feelings.

Rei entwined his hand with Nagisa's, gently pushing the boy onto his back. Nagisa put up no resistance, bending to Rei's will eagerly, inclining his head to catch Rei's lips in a kiss. Tongues tangled heatedly as Rei climbed onto the table to straddle Nagisa's hips, his free hand meticulously undoing the buttons on Nagisa's shirt to expose his pale chest and stomach. Rei broke the kiss, sitting up just enough to gaze down at Nagisa's adorably disheveled state. On a whim, he touched the pads of his fingers to Nagisa's collarbone and trailed them slowly down the length of the android's torso. Nagisa's back arched as if he'd been shocked, his mouth open in a beautiful gasping moan. He looked up at Rei with glossy, half-lidded eyes, his face dusted crimson.

"Rei-chan… Is this…. p-pleasure?" Nagisa asked, trembling.

As for an answer, Rei leaned over Nagisa's half-naked form and greedily mouthed his shoulder, laying kisses and gentle bites over his sensitive skin. Nagisa tossed his head back and moaned, his hands finding anchorage on Rei's back, fingers digging into his shoulder blades. From the sounds he was making, it almost seemed like Nagisa was close to release, though Rei couldn't be sure for lack of…. well, _physical_ evidence. Essentially it was all in Nagisa's mind.

"How does it feel?" Rei inquired headily. Nagisa whimpered, his body squirming.

"I d-don't know…!" Nagisa cried, shaking his head. Rei licked him from the left side of his chest to his jaw and Nagisa jerked, moaning shamelessly into Rei's ear. "S-something's happening to me… I… I feel l-like I'm going to die…!"

"Do you want to stop?" Rei asked, picking up his head. Nagisa tangled his fingers in Rei's hair, a silent plea to continue what he was doing.

"N-no! I want this… I want…. Rei-chan to make me feel good..."

Relieved, Rei caught Nagisa's mouth in another deep kiss, his hands groping Nagisa' chest, thumbs running over Nagisa's nipples. Nagisa groaned and whimpered into Rei's mouth, grabbing Rei's arms and pulling him down on top of him so that their bodies were flush with each other. He whimpered again when he felt Rei's erection dig into his thigh.

His mind gone blank and his instincts taking priority, Rei experimentally ground his hips against Nagisa's, wondering if there would be any reaction. Nagisa cried out, slinging his arms around Rei's neck. Rei bucked his hips again, grinding his clothed groin against Nagisa's until the boy was whimpering and begging for more. Unable to stop himself, Rei began dry-humping Nagisa in earnest, kissing him for all he was worth as the boy needily wrapped his legs around his waist, meeting Rei's thrusts.

Even though they weren't having conventional sex, Rei couldn't help but be overwhelmed by the sensation. Every touch and movement was sending Nagisa into a state of incoherent bliss. His pleasure was absolutely infectious. Rei forgot everything outside of the lab as he and Nagisa carried on, grinding in time with each other and kissing as though this kiss was their last.

Nagisa broke their kiss with a panicked moan. "R-rei-chan…! Something… _haah…_. _ahhh…_ something's coming…!"

"I've got you," Rei breathed, picking up the pace. "Just let go, let it all out."

His trembling arms holding Rei close, Nagisa let out a cry, his body going completely rigid. Rei held him tightly, peppering his neck with soothing kisses as Nagisa shook and whimpered.

It took several minutes for Nagisa to calm down. Worried he might have overdone it, Rei gently moved them off the table and carried Nagisa to a chair. Though his plan had been to sit Nagisa down and take care of him, Nagisa insisted he rest in Rei's lap, turning to jelly the moment he wrapped his arms around Rei's neck and settled against him.

"That felt amazing, Rei-chan…" Nagisa sighed, too tired to open his eyes. Rei pressed a kiss to Nagisa's hair, golden strands tickling his nose. "That was an orgasm, huh?"

"I couldn't feel what you felt, but it, ahh… seemed like one, yes,"

"It felt so good, but I also felt like I was dying." Nagisa mused with a sleepy laugh. "Is it always like that?"

"Sometimes," Rei answered, smiling.

Nagisa nuzzled his face in the crook of Rei's shoulder, sighing contentedly. "Thank you for letting me feel that with you, Rei-chan… Thank you so much."

Rei kissed Nagisa again, his heart swelling with affection.

It was going to be hard to leave the lab tonight.

 

* * *

 

The conference was soon. Rei was nervous. Nagisa was going to be revealed - world-wide, no less - to the entire scientific community. Rei always knew this event was coming, he thought he'd been ready, but he really wasn't. He had planned on introducing the world to his most incredible invention, but instead he felt like he was going to exploit the love of his life on national television. He didn't like the taste it left in his mouth.

Nagisa didn't seem bothered in the slightest. Rei knew he was excited to get out of the lab and start seeing more of the world; truthfully, this was the only thing that quelled Rei's worries. He could finally fulfill his promise of showing Nagisa what the world had to offer. The only drawback was that he had to share Nagisa with the rest of the world. Having a normal relationship was out of the question.

At least they'd most likely be in the same interviews together, maybe. If he was lucky.

 

* * *

 

" _Ryugazaki-senpai_!"

Rei nearly spat out his coffee. The moment he entered the institute's big revolving doors, Ai was leaping out at him like an over-zealous haunted house employee. Frazzled, Rei painstakingly swallowed his mouthful of coffee, watching Ai confusedly as the boy anxiously hopped in place, waiting for him to answer.

"Good morning, Nitori-kun. Is there a reason for greeting me so enthusiastically?" Rei asked, passing through the doors and heading for the robotics division as Ai followed.

"The conference was cancelled!" Ai exclaimed, his face pale. Rei stopped walking, his coffee cup inches from his lips. He whirled to face Ai with an unintentionally furious expression.

"What? What do you _mean_ it was cancelled? Why?"

"I don't know!" Ai cried, wringing his hands. "I just got the email! The division director wants to speak with you in his office!"

Not bothering to respond any further, Rei slammed his cup in the trash and strode to the elevator, his heart drumming in his throat.

.

.

.

Rei heard the words being said to him, but he couldn't process them.

"Could you… say that again?" Rei said hoarsely.

The director sighed, moving around his desk to sit on the edge, folding his hands together and resting them casually on his knee. "Listen, I know this is kind of out of left field. We're thinking of decommissioning N.G.S.A. We polled the focus groups. We just don't think the world is ready for all of the ethical issues a true A.I. might circulate."

The color drained from Rei's face. He didn't feel like any of this was real. He wasn't sure whether to be furious or devastated; he settled for a combination.

"That's… _No_!" Rei stood up, clenching his fists so hard his nails dug into his palms. "How can you even consider such a thing?! After all this time and work and money… We can't possibly afford to simply _decommission_ him!"

"'It', Ryugazaki, 'it'. Not 'him'. And the money was well-spent. The research and data you've collected is worth twice the amount we poured into the project. I'm not saying there's no future for androids, there just might not be a future for N.G.S.A. Ten years from now, your research will lead the scientific community into a new age of possibilities, I'm sure."

Rei felt sick. This man didn't understand. He still saw Nagisa as a product, a hunk of machinery made to look human. The thought of it made Rei furious.

"You don't understand!" Rei shouted. "Nagi- N.G.S.A. is a perfect A.I.! He can think for himself. He has real, genuine feelings. Decommissioning him is essentially institutionalized murder!"

The director wagged his finger, frowning. "No, no it is _not_. Androids _do not_ have rights, Ryugazaki. They are not human. This is _exactly_ the reason we're considering this. The world is not ready to consider the ethical implications of a true A.I." He sighed deeply. "I knew this would be hard for you to understand. You've been working closely with it for almost five years now, right? You might be too close to the situation to think logically about this. You should know better than anyone how often this happens in our field. How many inventions were rejected by the public years before they were able to be applied? Did you know that when the telegraph was first invented-"

"He isn't a _telegraph_!" Rei yelled, his fury bubbling. He wanted to hit him. How fired would he be if he hit the director of his department? "Why can't you understand?!"

Another long sigh. The man looked Rei in the eye, his expression hinting that their conversation was nearing a close, regardless of Rei's feelings on the matter.

"Look, Ryugazaki. I didn't _have_ to give you a heads up about this, I decided to because I thought - after all the good work you've done for us - that you deserved to know. Nothing's set in stone yet. The conference has been postponed until the guys upstairs can come to a decision. Until then, just make sure N.G.S.A.'s comfortable, will you?"

.

.

.

"I can't _believe_ this!" Ai exclaimed, looking like he might cry. Rei felt too numb to feel like crying. "They can't just do that, can they?"

"I don't know," Rei muttered, brushing his hand over his mouth. "They're the ones throwing the money at us. They can do whatever they want, I suppose."

"We can't just _let_ them!" Ai cried passionately.

"I don't intend to," Rei replied seriously. "I'll fight this tooth and nail. Somehow, I'll make them understand."

Ai was biting his lower lip raw. "What do we do? Do we tell Nagisa-kun about this?"

Rei had pondered that question long and hard on the elevator ride back down to the ground floor. He still wasn't sure, but he knew that telling Nagisa when things were still so unplanned was probably not a good idea.

"Not now," Rei answered. "I don't want to worry him unnecessarily. If I hear anything else, I'll tell him right away. But for now…" Rei trailed off, rubbing his brow. Those tears he thought he was too numb for were beginning to thaw, his composure unraveling. Ai put a hand on his shoulder.

There was no damn way in _hell_ Ai didn't know about his relationship with Nagisa by now, at least to some degree. Rei was almost sure Ai had accidentally walked in on them making out two months ago, in fact; Rei had never gotten any frack for it, and he greatly appreciated Ai's silent acceptance.

"Are _you_ going to be okay, Ryugazaki-senpai?"

Rei was not above lying about his feelings, but right now, he lacked the energy.

"No. No, I'm really not."

 

* * *

 

"Rei-chan, you're staying late again tonight?"

Nagisa plopped himself in Rei's lap, glancing curiously at his computer screen. "You haven't been sleeping a whole lot lately, have you?"

"Ahh, there's been more work than usual," Rei answered, deliberately fighting off a yawn. "I'm fine, though."

"What are you doing now?" Nagisa asked, still looking at the screen. He snaked his arms around Rei's neck, resting his head on Rei's shoulder. "That's my data, isn't it?"

"Yes," Rei said, rubbing his eyes. He wasn't sure how long he'd been staring at the monitor, but his eyes were absolutely burning. "I... don't trust these servers, really. I feel like it would be safer to back up everything onto external servers, just in case something happens."

Nagisa giggled. "Even if something happened, it's still all up here, right?" he chimed, tapping a finger to his temple. "It's perfectly safe in my head! Besides, couldn't you get in trouble for that? All that privacy stuff you went over with me a while ago, or something?"

Rei fell uncomfortably silent. He was tired of keeping this a secret from Nagisa, he was tired of losing sleep every night. There had been no news either way, but Nagisa deserved to know that his life was being decided, didn't he?

Placing his hands on Nagisa's arms, Rei gently pulled his away from his neck. Nagisa stared at Rei in slight surprise, shifting in his lap to better regard him. Rei held tight to Nagisa's hands, sucking in a deep breath through his nose.

"Nagisa-kun… There's something you need to know. A few days ago, I was told that… that there's a possibility you'll be scheduled to be decommissioned."

Nagisa stared into Rei's eyes, magenta eyes round and calm. "Rei-chan, I know."

Rei could have _sworn_ he'd just blacked out for the smallest of seconds and hallucinated. "Yo- wh- _huh_? Wait, how do you know!?"

Nagisa smiled teasingly. "You gave me the password to your work email last year, remember? When you started acting weird, I checked to see if something had happened. The conference being postponed because of 'ethics concerns', you acting all weird… I put two and two together."

Rei pulled gently on Nagisa's hands. "How can you be so _calm_ about this?!" he demanded. "They're thinking about _killing_ you! If they make that decision, there's nothing I can do about it! This isn't a movie, I can't sneak you out of here under my coat! The only thing I can even _attempt_ to do is copy your data to my home servers - which, I might add, will take _weeks_ of uninterrupted uploading - just to ensure in a worst-case-scenario I don't lose you! I can't…" Rei didn't realize he was crying until he saw Nagisa's face swimming out of focus, clouded by water. "I can't do a thing to save you… I'm _so sorry_ …"

Nagisa gently removed Rei's glasses from his face, setting them on his desk. He brushed bangs away from Rei's face and kissed his tears, cradling his face in his hands.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Nagisa said softly. "You gave me life. I've enjoyed my life with you _soooo_ much, Rei-chan. No matter what happens, I don't regret anything. You've made me so happy. I just hope I've made you happy, too."

A sob spilled out of Rei's mouth, his heart constricting painfully. "O-of _course_ you have! I love you, Nagisa-kun! I love you more than anything… I…." Nagisa wiped away more of Rei's tears. Rei laughed humorlessly. "You're taking this a lot better than I am…" he said weakly. "I seriously can't stand the thought of losing you. I don't think I can accept the possibility."

"Rei-chan, I'm happy that you would miss me, but… you have so many wonderful things in your life! You're so skilled and smart and amazing… Even if I _do_ get decommissioned, you always have your 'purpose', right?"

" _You_ are my purpose now!" Rei nearly shouted, his voice faltering with tears. "I can't imagine my life without you! Without you, I…" Another sob tumbled out. Rei wiped his eyes embarrassedly.

When he lowered his hands his mouth was being assaulted by Nagisa's lips; the kiss was deep and desperate, wet with tears. Rei breathed him in, wrapping his arms around Nagisa to pull him in close. Nagisa's urgency rolled Rei's chair into the desk, knocking his items askew.

After several breathless moments, Nagisa pulled away, breathing hard against Rei's lips. "No matter what happens, I'm always with you, okay?" he said, holding Rei's face in his hands. Rei pressed his forehead against Nagisa's, shutting his eyes. "I couldn't stand the thought of you giving up everything you love because of me… Promise me you'll be happy." When Rei didn't answer, Nagisa kissed his forehead. " _Please_ , Rei-chan?"

Rei wasn't sure that was a promise he could ever keep.

 

* * *

 

His ID badge didn't work again today.

Rei walked to the help desk as per the routine, but this morning, the tech that saw him approaching looked vaguely panicked.

"Good morning," Rei offered politely, wondering why the tech wouldn't meet his eyes, "I would appreciate it if you could open the lab for me?" He was surprised that he even needed to ask, but the tech seemed to have fallen awkwardly mute.

"Uhm…" The tech shuffled papers needlessly in her hands; she looked to be stalling. "The thing is… Your lab is, uhhh…."

" _Ryugazaki-senpai_!" Ai's voice rang out urgently from the lab doors, gaining the attention of nearly everyone on the first floor. Rei's blood ran cold. Something was wrong. Leaving the sputtering tech at the desk, Rei rushed to Ai, panic rising in his throat.

"Nitori-kun, what's going on?!"

Ai was out of breath; it looked like he'd been inside the lab and come rushing out when he'd spotted Rei. "I… I tried to get them to stop, but… They'd already done it, and… Nagisa-kun…. is…"

The bottom of Rei's stomach fell into his shoes. Without hesitation he pushed past Ai and lunged at the doors, banging on them so hard the glass shook violently.

"No, Ryugazaki-senpai, he's already…!"

"LET ME IN, _NOW_!" Rei shouted furiously. "This is _my_ damn lab! They _couldn't_ have… without telling me… They _couldn't_ have!"

Ai grabbed him from behind and attempted to pull Rei away just as the doors slid open. Several men emerged, pushing a wheeled iron cart holding a large blue tarp covering a pile of unidentified items. Rei stared at the tarp, paralyzed, his heart turned to ice. As the men pushed past them, Rei glimpsed a tuft of blonde hair poking out from under the tarp. In a fit of terror and disbelief he yanked away from Ai, pushing aside one of the men and lifting up the tarp.

It seemed as if time had stopped just long enough to allow Rei's eyes to see something he'd never wanted to see. A mess of machine parts and synthetic skin stared up at him, each and every piece recognizable on its own, all of them once a part of Nagisa's body, having worked in tandem to sustain him. Disconnected, they had no purpose. They were junk. In the center of the pile was Nagisa's head, his eyes half-lidded, void of life.

If this was a nightmare, Rei wished he could wake up.

Ai pulled Rei away and he relented easily. He couldn't think, couldn't feel. The men replaced the tarp, continuing on their way. Rei vaguely heard some of them offer half-hearted condolences for entering the lab and tampering with the android without Rei's permission. They headed off toward the back exit, heedless of what they'd done.

Once they'd gone Rei sank to his knees, a rush of tears and sickness hitting him like an overwhelming wave of misery.

 

* * *

 

He'd gotten a text out of the blue. An invitation to coffee at a local cafe.

Rei wasn't terribly excited to meet the recipient. It wasn't that he disliked hearing from Ai after a whole year, but he'd left all of that behind for a reason. It prodded deep wounds that refused to heal. He couldn't see Ai without remembering Nagisa. He'd quit his job to avoid painful reminders like those.

Despite his urge to decline, here he was, sitting at a small booth in the corner of the cafe. It was unusual for him to be earlier than Ai for any sort of appointment, but after a year, Rei supposed a lot of things might have changed.

"Sorry I'm late!"

Plopping down in the seat across from Rei, Ai flashed a rosy, apologetic smile. He set down a blue duffle bag next to the table, trying to catch his breath. "I took the wrong bus!"

Maybe some things didn't change after all. Rei smiled, shaking his head. "I just got here myself. Don't worry yourself about it."

Ai pulled off his beanie, revealing tousled, sweaty silver hair. He raked his fingers through it, taming it only slightly. "It's good to see you, Ryugazaki-senpai! How, ahh, have you been? It's been a year now, right?"

Rei knew Ai was just trying to make conversation, and he also knew that conversation didn't usually equal truth. "I've… been fine. Being retired at my age has taken some getting used to, but it hasn't been all bad. Plenty of money coming in from the patents on my research, after all." He didn't want to admit that he barely touched any of the money he received. No matter how he looked at it, it was dirty money. Tainted. He didn't feel right about it and he suspected he never would.

"That's great!" Ai said, though he didn't truly sound convinced.

"How have you been, Nitori-kun? You've been getting into computer engineering, haven't you?"

"Ah, yes," Ai pulled the duffle bag from the floor to his lap, hugging it. "It was you who encouraged me to get into the field, Ryugazaki-senpai. I have you to thank for it."

"You can probably just call me 'Rei' now," Rei reminded with a smile. "I'm not really your senpai anymore, after all."

A waitress approached the table, asking the men for their orders. Rei ordered a chai tea, Ai a black coffee, and as the waitress walked away to place their orders Rei distinctly felt like Ai had asked him here for a specific reason.

There was a short silence. Ai absently hugged the duffle bag a bit closer to him.

"Ryugaz- Rei-senpai, I know it's been a year, but I really wanted to talk to you about… well, that. From back then. I… wasn't sure you'd agree to come if you knew."

Rei had the wild urge to get up and leave, but he couldn't do that to Ai no matter how much this subject pained him. He laughed humorlessly. "So it wasn't just to catch up, huh?"

"There's that too, of course," Ai said guiltily. "I understand that you probably don't want to talk about it, but there's something I really need to tell you."

The waitress returned with their drinks, and left them to their talk. Rei held his cup of tea between his hands, the steam rising up to cloud his lenses. He might have preferred it that way, depending on where this conversation was going.

"What did you want to tell me?" Rei finally prompted.

Ai cleared his throat. "Well, it's… Since then, since the… decommission, have you tried to, ahh… piece together any of the data you uploaded?"

Rei nearly forgot he'd told Ai about his plans to upload Nagisa's data. He really wished he was anywhere but here right now.

"Of course I've tried." Rei didn't have the energy to be waspish. "They wiped the servers and shut them down before I had uploaded everything. There are so many holes in the data, it was just…" Rei took a sip of his tea, despite it being far too hot to drink. He set down his cup, staring intently at the steam. "It was incomplete. I tried just about everything I could to unscramble it. Nothing worked."

Ai unzipped his duffle bag, rummaging his hand around in it for a few seconds before pulling out a black USB stick, placing it gently on the table. Rei glanced at it, confused.

"What's this?"

"I _swear_ I would have told you about it a year ago if I knew I could have gotten it to work!" Ai exclaimed. "But I was so sure it was a lost cause! I thought telling you about it would only make it worse, like, get your hopes up-"

"Nitori-kun, you're not making any sense." Rei jabbed a finger at the USB. "What. is. this."

Ai took a deep breath. "It's something I was working on a few years ago. I wanted to see if I could create a program to help keep Nagisa-kun's memory intact even if he suffered a few bugs or some lost data. It's _specifically_ outfitted for Nagisa-kun's memory data. Basically, it was meant to fill in blanks and repair data that might have been broken or damaged."

Rei's heart was pounding in his ears so loudly he could barely hear Ai explain. "How can any program do something so complex? It's mathematically impossible."

"I told you, it's specific to Nagisa-kun. I had it running up until the day they shut him down. It was programmed to passively scan every single line of data in Nagisa-kun's head. It doesn't hold onto anything, it just recognizes patterns and sequences to rebuild data. It might be able to fill in the blanks for you, with a little help."

"Why didn't you tell me…?" Rei asked, unbelieving.

"There was no guarantee it would work… There still isn't, honestly. Over the last year, I've tested similar programs on other servers, and after some work and time, it almost always ends up completing the missing data. I think it's worth a shot!"

Carefully picking up the USB, Rei observed it with bleary eyes. Was it really possible? After all this time, all these nights of falling asleep on his keyboard and waking up in tears… He couldn't believe that a possible solution was in his hands.

"You realize… helping me with reconstructing this data is more or less _illegal_ , Nitori-kun?"

Ai smiled. " _Way_ illegal." he answered. "When should we start?"

 

* * *

 

The hum of the servers had become a constant reminder of how long he'd been without Nagisa.

For the better part of two years, Rei had been working around the clock to repair Nagisa's broken data with Ai's program. The progress had been slow, but he couldn't complain so long as it appeared to be working. Ai helped when he could, coming and going at all hours to help the process along. To say Rei was grateful for the help was a massive understatement.

However, even considering the possibility of success, Rei sometimes felt hopeless. Even if they could repair the data and recover Nagisa's mind, building Nagisa a functioning body was going to be nearly impossible. His private lab was impressive, but it was nothing compared to his lab at the institute. He didn't have the same resources or money; building another android body could take a decade or more. Would it be fair to bring Nagisa back into the world without any way to interact with it? Rei wasn't sure. All he knew was that he wanted Nagisa back more than anything. Even if he could never touch him again, to be with him in any form would ease his mind and heal his heart. He knew he was being selfish, but he couldn't help it.

Rei was half-asleep when he heard it. An intermittent beeping at his console, a unique tone he was sure he'd never heard before. Worried something may have gone wrong, Rei rubbed his eyes and turned his chair, the light from the monitor burning his retinas. Adjusting his glasses, Rei observed the screen. There were two messages.

[Data recovery: 100%]

The second message froze Rei to his very core. Rei read it once, twice, three times, and choked out a sob, covering his mouth with his hand.

[Good morning, Rei-chan! Sorry I was asleep for so long! <3]

**Author's Note:**

> finally got myself to write a semi-tragic Reigisa fic. Sorry it's so freakishly long! (Or is that even something to apologize for??) Please ignore my ignorance with robotics and technical terms T__T Please be sure to let me know what you thought! <3


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